keep on keeping on
Human connection is a hard thing for many people, myself included, and especially so once you're in the working world. You're not in the safe space of the education system anymore where you're put together with unfamiliar faces to befriend. There's a lot of effort involved not just in meeting people but meeting the people you actually want to connect with.
The city I live in is vibrant and full of life, full of chaos, and full of people. Yet, citygoers often avoid each other. There's far too many people in so little space, yet we often yearn for connection with other people. We want to share ideas, experiences, and perspectives. Why is it so hard? Why do we need to put in so much effort? I don't want to befriend people at work and perhaps neither do you.
For the past several years, I've put in the effort of trying to meet new faces every week - there are little "urban hikes" I like to attend every now and again, there are weekly board game meetups, language exchange groups, debate clubs, attending the bouldering gym, running, and so on and so on. However, I can count on one hand the number of meaningful connections I've made so far. Due to various reasons and circumstances, whether intentional or not, the people you connect with become disconnected from you in time.
It occurred to me that, rather than meeting new people, maintaining and deepening that connection is the hard part. I think it's easy to talk to someone new and introduce yourself, but how do you carry on that connection afterwards? You arrange meetups, you go out, you do things together. But maybe you don't feel like it, or maybe they don't feel like it. Maybe you both don't feel like putting in the effort to maintain that connection. Which is why finding someone you enjoy talking to and investing in that connection becomes all the more important.
There are fewer things in the world more satisfying than having a group of tight-knit friends that you can talk to and hang out with no matter how much time has passed between your interactions, the ultimate connection that never dies. Or so you'd think. Unless you or they put in the time and energy into doing so, your friends become people you know. They become another face you remember. They become a name in your memory. And vice versa.
Thus, I admire all the people in my life now, in my personal circle, that continue to make the effort and put in the time to send me a message to ask how I'm doing, to ask if I'd like to hang out, to invite me on a trip somewhere. I'm continuously inspired to do the same, to put in the same energy, and to ensure that the connection I have with my closest people endure far into the future. I make time, I make space, and if I'm not available, I'll make sure to see when I'll be free again.
The effort pays off. The hard work pays off. Eventually, you might be able to nurture your friends into a community. And we will all live fuller lives as a result.
Funnily, what inspired me to type this was my recent playthrough of Death Stranding. The first one. Because I thought about how wholesome the concept of connections being a glorified delivery man keeping the world alive. The world is dying but the fire of hope remains alive as people connect and support each other selflessly. The Beached souls are those who pass away with regrets, with things they still want to do, with connections they want to make, hence the handprints. Each death, if neglected, brings absolute suffering to those around them. I love this game. And I love the message it's trying to bring to those who play it.
I'm thankful. To my friends, my girlfriend, and my family.
Keep on keeping on.
All my blog posts are drafted on my 1975 Olympia Traveller de Luxe